1x1 Discipleship Guide
A Structure
For those of you who have been in a good discipleship relationship, you may not need a blueprint for a meeting. However, it is helpful to have an idea of what to do. Please keep in mind that this format is just one way to have an intentional discipleship conversation with a friend. If it is clumsy or burdensome to you, feel free to adapt it. If it is helpful, use it. This format is intentionally designed around four basic elements: discussing life, Word, accountability, and prayer.
Life
If you already know one another well, you simply check in on one another. Ask questions like, “How are you doing spiritually?” “How is your family?” “What has been difficult lately?” Are you being content?” “How is your family?” “Where are you seeing God at work in your life right now? “Where do you need to grow?” The goal here is to know one another’s lives well enough to speak into them, as well as to know what we need to grow in and where. For example, as we talk, it may become evident that you and your spouse are having a rough time lately. This is something for us to pray about. This is also something for me to ask you about next time we meet. And this is something for us to intentionally think about from the Word. Maybe we decide to read a good book on our speech like, “War of Words,” by Paul Tripp. Or maybe we open to James 3 and 4 and seek to apply the Word. Hopefully you see how this category of “life” fills in some of the other three categories of “Word, accountability, and prayer”.
Word
Read the Scriptures together. A very simple pattern is to read last week’s sermon passage and next week’s sermon text.
• For last week’s passage, share something that stood out to you, challenged you, or that you learned about God from the passage and sermon.
• For next week’s text, ask questions of the passage and try to answer them. This will both remind you of last week’s message and prepare you for this coming week’s sermon.
If you’re reading a book together, take time sharing different points that helped or challenged you.
Accountability
Many people find it helpful to have a list of accountability questions to ask one another. Here is a list adapted from a couple different sources. Make your own as needed.
1. Have you been a testimony this week to the greatness of Jesus Christ with both your words and actions? (related - who are you currently seeking to share the Gospel with?)
2. Have you been exposed to sexually alluring material or allowed your mind to entertain inappropriate sexual thoughts about another this week?
3. Have you lacked integrity in your financial dealings or coveted something that does not belong to you? (Have you done anything unethical this week?)
4. Have you been honoring, understanding, and generous in your important relationships this week?
5. Have you damaged another person by your words, either behind their back or face to face?
6. Have you given in to an addictive behavior this past week? Explain.
7. Have you continued to remain angry toward another?
8. Have you secretly wished for another’s misfortune?
9. Have you honored your family this week by spending appropriate
quality time with them?
10. Have you lied or told me any half-truths today?
Or simply turn to Galatians 5:16-24 and ask one another accountability questions around the works of the flesh or the fruit of the Spirit.
Prayer
Put simply, pray. Pray for one another based on the “life” discussion you had earlier and the specific things you would like to see implemented in your life from your time in the Word together. For example...
Pray for:
• The struggles and needs you shared
• Growth in the areas God’s Word revealed
• Your families and relationships
• People in the church
• People who need to know Jesus
• Opportunities to live on mission
Whenever possible, allow the Scripture you studied to shape the way you pray.
• For example, for Titus 2:6 you would pray that _____ would be self-controlled in all they do this week.
For those of you who have been in a good discipleship relationship, you may not need a blueprint for a meeting. However, it is helpful to have an idea of what to do. Please keep in mind that this format is just one way to have an intentional discipleship conversation with a friend. If it is clumsy or burdensome to you, feel free to adapt it. If it is helpful, use it. This format is intentionally designed around four basic elements: discussing life, Word, accountability, and prayer.
Life
If you already know one another well, you simply check in on one another. Ask questions like, “How are you doing spiritually?” “How is your family?” “What has been difficult lately?” Are you being content?” “How is your family?” “Where are you seeing God at work in your life right now? “Where do you need to grow?” The goal here is to know one another’s lives well enough to speak into them, as well as to know what we need to grow in and where. For example, as we talk, it may become evident that you and your spouse are having a rough time lately. This is something for us to pray about. This is also something for me to ask you about next time we meet. And this is something for us to intentionally think about from the Word. Maybe we decide to read a good book on our speech like, “War of Words,” by Paul Tripp. Or maybe we open to James 3 and 4 and seek to apply the Word. Hopefully you see how this category of “life” fills in some of the other three categories of “Word, accountability, and prayer”.
Word
Read the Scriptures together. A very simple pattern is to read last week’s sermon passage and next week’s sermon text.
• For last week’s passage, share something that stood out to you, challenged you, or that you learned about God from the passage and sermon.
• For next week’s text, ask questions of the passage and try to answer them. This will both remind you of last week’s message and prepare you for this coming week’s sermon.
If you’re reading a book together, take time sharing different points that helped or challenged you.
Accountability
Many people find it helpful to have a list of accountability questions to ask one another. Here is a list adapted from a couple different sources. Make your own as needed.
1. Have you been a testimony this week to the greatness of Jesus Christ with both your words and actions? (related - who are you currently seeking to share the Gospel with?)
2. Have you been exposed to sexually alluring material or allowed your mind to entertain inappropriate sexual thoughts about another this week?
3. Have you lacked integrity in your financial dealings or coveted something that does not belong to you? (Have you done anything unethical this week?)
4. Have you been honoring, understanding, and generous in your important relationships this week?
5. Have you damaged another person by your words, either behind their back or face to face?
6. Have you given in to an addictive behavior this past week? Explain.
7. Have you continued to remain angry toward another?
8. Have you secretly wished for another’s misfortune?
9. Have you honored your family this week by spending appropriate
quality time with them?
10. Have you lied or told me any half-truths today?
Or simply turn to Galatians 5:16-24 and ask one another accountability questions around the works of the flesh or the fruit of the Spirit.
Prayer
Put simply, pray. Pray for one another based on the “life” discussion you had earlier and the specific things you would like to see implemented in your life from your time in the Word together. For example...
Pray for:
• The struggles and needs you shared
• Growth in the areas God’s Word revealed
• Your families and relationships
• People in the church
• People who need to know Jesus
• Opportunities to live on mission
Whenever possible, allow the Scripture you studied to shape the way you pray.
• For example, for Titus 2:6 you would pray that _____ would be self-controlled in all they do this week.